I could barely contain my excitement as I prepared for the premiere episode of Jersey Shore's new season in Miami. I nervously sipped my wine and munched on my roommate's delicious homemade bruschetta, wondering what the next hour would hold. What adventures could possibly be in store for these crazy kids? Would they be sufficiently tanned and toned to meet Miami's standards, or might their Jersey ways get them kicked out of South Beach? Would Sammi and Ronnie's love conquer all and bring them back together? And most importantly, how long would we loyal viewers have to wait to see a fight?
Well, I wasn't disappointed at how long it took to see a fight (approximately 42 minutes), but I was bummed about the context: Angelina picking a fight with JWoww from the back of a cab?! Come on, nobody even got hurt! I mean, does anyone really care about Angelina? Why is she back on the show anyway? She must have had some serious remorse about leaving season one when she realized all of her former "castmates" had become hugely famous almost overnight. MTV was gracious to give her a second chance at her 15 minutes, but she really just sucks the life out of the show and everyone in it.
The rest of the episode was all the same crap we saw in the first season: "The Situation" continues to make up derogatory names for the women his roommates hook up with, but still never gets laid; Sammi and Ronnie fight like an old, drunk married couple; JWoww, despite now making 10 grand an episode, still dresses like a hooker; Vinny doesn't really do much except laugh, display his huge eyebrows, and make up words such as 'obliviated'; and Snooki, if she is able to form sentences, delivers such quotable quotes as "I feel like a pilgrim from the 20s." Even the clubs seem to have the same trashy, half-dressed, drunk girls and Addiction Tshirt-wearing guidos.
The difference here is that all that "crap" was what made the first season genius. It was so trashy, so blatantly awful, so disgusting to see real people behaving like this, that we couldn't help but watch. Now it just feels like we are seeing the same old thing, except this time it's being put on by a cast of bratty celebrities who are pulling "Friends"-like negotiations with the network; season three will net the main stars $30,000 per episode.
It's certainly true that money can't buy class, but at least maybe it could have gotten us something more entertaining. Next week I better make sure to have my Ron Ron Juice ready so I can make it through the episode.
No comments:
Post a Comment